Thoughts from NFL week 1

Washington vs. New York- Did anybody care about this game? Good thing the Giants won it last year and good luck with the Jason Campbell thing there in DC.

Detroit vs. Atlanta- I drafted Michael Turner in the fourth round; I am a fantasy football genius. Note to self: Start anybody playing against the Detroit defense.

Seattle vs. Buffalo- I drafted Julius Jones with my second overall pick, scratch the last genius statement. I think Seattle has officially cornered the market on sports misery, congratulations.

Jets vs. Miami – It is official, Farve is the Casey Kasem of professional football. Can we all agree on two things: that Farve must stop with the Prilosec commercials and John Madden’s huge man crush on him is starting make us all a little uncomfortable.

Kansas City vs. New England- We now know what the sound of 10 million Tom Brady owners all groaning at the same time sounds like. As a football fan it sucks that I won’t be able to watch the best player in the league play. As Gisele’s future husband it sucks that Brady is sleeping with my wife…I hope he throws his back out.

Tampa Bay vs. New Orleans- My second round pick last year was Drew Brees…expect Julius Jones to have a huge year….next year.

St. Louis vs Philly- What is the over/ under on the number of games McNabb makes it this year? I’m going with 10 and they make the playoff only to get destroyed in the second round by the Cowboys. Oh, and the Rams suck.

Houston vs. Pittsburgh- I drafted Julius Jones ahead of Willie Parker. In other news I eat soup with a fork.

Jacksonville vs. Tennessee- If Vince was as good at quarterbacking as he is at taking topless gay photos while drinking Tennessee would be a 2:1 favorite to win the Super Bowl. I didn’t buy the hype about Jacksonville coming into the year and losing to Tennessee sure cleared that up for me.

Cincinnati vs Baltimore- Is Cincinnati going to be this bad this year or is the Baltimore defense that good? On a side note was everybody as bummed as I was that Cinci didn’t try to land Pacman Jones? It would have been like a 90’s Florida State team, just without the wins. Note from Ray Lewis to Chris Henry after the game, “You are doing it wrong, Pro-Bowl first, then felonies”.

Carolina vs. San Diego- I wonder if Merriman was on juice right when he got to the league and if he is really just an average outside backer? Clearly with all his new acne he has finally given up the needle. I think San Diego only has a year or two window left, Rivers growth this year will make up for the loss of Merriman but LT is due to start to fall off. I’m not sure what to make of Carolina as a team but I do know Steve Smith is fun to watch.

Arizona vs. San Francisco- Arizona and San Francisco are this year’s sleepers? I’m not buying that bridge again, for the third time.

Dallas vs. Cleveland- With Tom Brady going out the Patriots are about cede their title as the NFL’s most hated team to Dallas. My wife has decided to help me hate the Cowboys more by having this picture of Terrell Owens featured on the site she is designing. I don’t like this photo because I think it sets an unrealistic body expectation for guys, also that is probably just CGI. Cleveland misses the playoffs, Anderson traded in the offseason after a big QB controversy.

Chicago vs. Indy- The two best hits of the weekend were in this game. One was Bob Sanders on Matt Forte and the other was Lance Briggs on Josepha Addai. To bad Chicago started Rex Grossman in the Super Bowl instead of Orton. When it comes to unfortunate last names for an athlete is anything other Lossman worse than Grossman? Indy will be fine till they lose to Pittsburg in the playoffs.

Minnesota vs Green Bay- Is there any player happier with how things went this weekend than Aaron Rodgers? Well maybe Matt Cassell. Tavaris isn’t ready, which is a shame because that is all they are missing.

Oakland vs.. Denver- I’m a Raiders fan…this game would have felt like your first shower day in prison for a 110 pound guy except Raiders fans have been in jail for the past five years. At this point Al Davis needs to pay for reconstructive surgery for all the fans. Ultimately I think the key to turning it around is Al Davis going back to his job of hosting “Tales from the Crypt”. PS- I hate Denver.

As always, let me know your thoughts.